Author: bettechamberlin

Do you get frustrated learning and remembering steps?

Unequivocally, I do. I’ve been there and struggle with this negative creature on an ongoing basis.

Frustration, that unwelcome emotion, often in cahoots with the nagging critical voice  has a nervous system all its own, increasing tension and messing with our breathing.  It is the ultimate saboteur.  It can take over all reason and infiltrate the very thinking that is needed to move towards a goal and constructive learning.  It’s an expert rattler.

I have found it to be yet another habit that has imprinted itself on my learning system – the ever present nag, the should’ve gotten this by now BIG voice inside, and very much bent on sabotaging the thing that I want most:  achieving a goal.

If you are human (like me!)  you have been frustrated.  It’s not going to go away without getting a handle, particularly when you have a lot of skin in the game.  Stuff like when you are preparing to go onto the ballroom floor and you want to win.

I often ask, “what is this frustration about”?  Is there a purpose?

The good news is that frustration is an emotion based on hope.  The goal is there – learning, remembering, attaining something.  We expect to reach our goal but it is sometimes thwarted by our expectations which are often based on an inner voice that won’t quit.  On the positive side, it’s purpose is to cause an increase in focus and extra effort to meet that goal of nailing the difficult transitions from one set of steps to another.  Or getting an organic connection with your partner.

On the negative side, frustration that turns into anger or a downward spiral of confidence is goal killing.

Here are some things that I have learned:

1. Honor your way of learning.  If you need to repeat 8 counts of music 10 times, voice that to your teacher.  Teachers would rather do this than deal with the negative side of frustration. (If you are a teacher/pro, model the encouragement that you offer to your student, to yourself!)
2. Step back from what is causing the frustration.  Get some emotional distance. Take a short water break.
3. Do something that you know you can succeed at, what you can do well, automatically.
4.  Sometimes it’s best to give up and fight another day.

Our teachers should be our biggest supporters and I have found that to be true in my experience.   I hope that is your experience as well.  The gift to ourselves is to keep frustration on the positive side and to know how we best learn, to breathe, and adopt a calm focus.

Happy Dancing!   How do you deal with frustration?   If you know other dancers who may benefit from reading my blog, please forward.

To get my free 10 Steps to Competitive Greatness in PDF format, click here.

I’ve spent a lot of time  avoiding ‘failure’.  As a child with musical and movement facility, I had much to live up to.

I often had stomach aches as I attended dance conferences with my ballet teacher and my mother. I was primed to be the best dancer in my age group, and believed that it was my job to confirm this.

From the beginning, my talent was part of my family’s pride, and while that sounds positive, for a child the perceived responsibility is overwhelming.

My Mom was a piano teacher and MY piano teacher.  Each Spring, she would enter me in a piano audition where I would have to play from 4-6 pieces by heart in front of a judge who would grade my performance, producing a report card. Out of all her students, I received the highest grades and the most praise.  I was thrilled afterwards because my nausea miraculously went away and well, it was over until next year, UGH!

The thing about behavioral molding is that it sticks and becomes part of one’s psychological imprint.  So every event can be charged with the conditioning of past behavior.

As an adult, the job of fulfilling everyone else’s expectations and dreams was over, but the memory of the demands of a challenge that may not be met was still fresh. As an antidote, I never wanted to go down a path that strayed too far from safety.  And I never fell flat on my face.

Often, I longed to do just that, but oh no, that just was not possible because I habitually managed very well the levels of demand so that I knew I would succeed.

Things shifted for me when I heard about FM Alexander’s 9 year process of trial and error, mostly his failure to discover the means to stop his habit of compressing his neck before speaking.

But his years of failures eventually netted him success through his recognition of the power of pausing before action.  I was inspired by his courage and trained for 3 years and paused a lot and put myself in a state of unknowing, often not to my liking, as immediate ‘success’ was not certain until I ‘failed’.

It is without question that FM was personally and singularly motivated to solve his vocal problem and failure was indeed an option if not a requirement for success. I benefit every day from his persistence and courage in the face of such failure, and am happy to say that my students do too!

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

Happy Dancing!  How do you see failure in the scheme of things?  If you know other dancers who may benefit from reading my blog, please forward.

To get my free 10 Steps to Competitive Greatness in PDF format, click here.

Please do not read this if you know everything there is to know about posture!!

Let’s just take a moment to talk about this word, posture. which we hear about from our ballroom teachers. They are talking about dancing with good posture, a lengthened spine, etc. As a starting point, the dictionary defines it as:

1) The position in which someone holds their body when standing or sitting. E.g. “he stood in a flamboyant posture with his hands on his hips”.

OR

Happy Dancing!  If you know other dancers who may benefit from these tips, please forward. Who do you think exemplifies ease and grace?

To get my free 10 Steps to Competitive Greatness, click here.

“10 Steps to Competition Greatness”  

# 6 – Notice your breathing.  Allow it to come and go on its own.  Give yourself the time to ease into this moment.

During my performing career, as a young dancer, I often felt that there was never enough ‘wind’ in me to enjoy my whole pas de deux, variation or particularly long, fast sequence, I could feel the oxygen debt in my legs and the need to kick in acting skills that signaled “no, I am not dying out here”.

For sure,  I knew that easeful breathing was immensely helped by a lot of practice resulting in conditioning that produced stamina.

But what really got to me was when breathing became short and shallow due to nerves, fear and an inability to feel grounded.  Click here for my stage fright confession.

Breathing is affected by nervousness, worry or even the expectation of doing well in competition.

Breathing IS automatic  Even so, we can easily interfere with free breathing just as we can interfere with our musculature by habitually over contracting.  Jessica Wolf, from The Art of Breathing says:

“I often ask myself whether efficient breathing begins with dynamic alignment, or whether balance and coordination rely on efficient breathing”.

I’ve found it to be a feedback mechanism where both are necessary for the other to work efficiently.  But here is the sticky part; it is not EASY, when feeling overwhelmed and controlled by adrenaline to just wish it away, or worse, ignore it.

Breathing coordination does not require active “doing,” but it does require intention.  Paying attention to the physical aspects of it and applying tools creates a new plan and in the end a change of habit.

In order to restore breathing rhythms it helps to:

1. Notice your breathing. 
2. Allow it to come and go on its own (even if you think you can’t). 
3. Let your neck be easy.
4. You are thinking your head, neck and spine pointing up.

Because you are not ignoring your quickened breathing pattern or incessant yawning, you have the opportunity to apply tools  whenever you choose.  

Be gentle with yourself – be compassionate.

Happy Dancing!  If you know other dancers who may benefit from these tips, please forward. If you wish, please leave a comment or question about your own breathing patterns and I will respond.

To sign up for my weekly blog, click here.

While listening to NPR, I heard a software designer utter the phrase “Lazy like a fox”.  He was referring to taking advantage of other’s inroads into discoveries that cut corners, essentially saving the time and energy.

I was intrigued.  In an article by Phil Johnson from IT World magazine he further explains “The best developers share an important trait: laziness, which translates to a constant quest to find the most efficient ways to get the job done, in both the short and long terms”.

Who knew that computer programers were models at finding efficiency in their craft?  As ballroom dancers can we too make it easier for ourselves  by finding the most efficient way to move our whole selves through space?!

Cutting corners can be a negative if we are trying to get to the next rumba walk before we center our weight on both feet, push off from the back foot getting our weight onto the leading foot and then settling on that hip, simultaneously bringing the back foot through and starting again.

But I like to think about the times that I have worked with a dancer and efficiency was gained by recognizing an interference.  The interference sometimes is discovered as a habit of locking knees causing hyperextension,  an attempt to attain good posture through bracing, or battling the critical voice inside, or losing sight of the space all around. Or, and this is my favorite one to notice – holding my breath.

So  the efficient way to get the job done is to recognize the thing that prevents  an easeful, balanced and fluid outcome. Can we cut out this stuff that we don’t need ?  I like to think of this as positive corner cutting.

Truth be told, I don’t believe that taking time to think equals laziness.  But in our culture, thinking and not doing something is often considered just that.  Ridiculous!  So the next time you want to improve your rumba walk, look at what you don’t need.  Take the time to think about it and….

BE LAZY LIKE A FOX!

Happy Dancing!  If you know other dancers who may benefit from these tips, please forward. To sign up for my weekly blog, click here.

During my professional ballet career I was introduced to a new teacher by one of my fellow dancers. Her name – Maggie Black. She recently passed away and this brought an outpouring of reflections from her loyal, loving and ‘forever changed’ students.  Her method of teaching ballet was anatomically focused and her commitment to this was the rigor that we all saw as our ticket to freedom of movement.  Sometimes her way of delivering this focus was gentle, at times forceful at other times with humor.  Her classes became both a social network and an intensive workshop.

Being a member of American Ballet Theater should have confirmed that I had a solid technique already, but there were times when I felt abandoned by my body.    My talent clearly served as my only ‘rudder’, making me dependent upon something that I couldn’t practically call upon when things didn’t work.  Maggie changed that. 

Maggie helped us to look at all the habits that were not working for us. She had an acute awareness of what her dancers were doing in class and it enabled her to spot many a dancer’s inefficient habits and then provide tools to replace them with something efficient. 

It went something like this at the barre:  “Bette, Deborah, and Gary, (yes, she saw all of us seemingly at once) stand on your left foot, tendú back, get your pelvis UP over your leg, raise your right leg to arabesque, keep moving your pelvis UP over your leg, let go of the barre, Aha!, don’t brace to get your balance!, if you are tightening somewhere you don’t have your pelvis UP over your leg and you are bracing instead of being balanced……and so on.

Maggie’s classes were primers in awareness in action.  You were learning to notice when your ‘butt was in the Hudson River’, and the less you let that happen the freer you were – you felt better, stronger, more coordinated and confident.  Soon her method was called ‘Black Magic’. Lore has it that Balanchine, in his inimitable way coined the approach as many NYC ballet dancers flocked to her class instead of his.

Her magic was an attention to the means whereby, based on an awareness of “what I am doing in the moment”.  Most dancers learn their craft by imitation at a young age, much like non-dancers often adopt their parent’s postural habits.  Habits for good or bad are non-thinking automatic behaviors. 

What Maggie understood, through her own study, was that habits can be turned around by using your brain, or just pausing and taking some time to notice.  She helped all of us to achieve and maintain a stronger and more fluid technique, extending our careers and in many cases, saving them.

The wonderful thing about knowing what you are doing while you are doing it is that it doesn’t matter what you are doing!  Ballroom dancing, ballet or unloading the dishwasher – it helps to be curious about your plan of action.

The gifts that Maggie passed on to me are now the gifts that I am thrilled to offer to my students.

Happy Dancing!  If you know other dancers who may benefit from these tips, please forward. To sign up for my weekly blog, click here.

Many years ago, during my ballet career, I regularly performed at the Metropolitan Opera House with American Ballet Theater.  Although most of my time was spent in the corps de ballet, I did have the opportunity to perform many solos.  They were the outcome of years of study starting at the age of 8 and culminating in a professional career with an often punishing performing schedule.  I danced full length ballets like Swan Lake and Giselle, repertoire pieces (3 or 4 per night) and I was always on stage.

I became accustomed to the routine of classes, rehearsals, applying makeup, donning costumes and making sure that my whole body was warmed up and ready to go on stage.  This in order to deliver seamless movement quality, beauty and the illusion of creatures dancing effortlessly on their toes often in tutus. Here I am en pointe in a “La Bayadere” tutu.

But here’s the thing.  I was never as nervous and frightened on the Met stage as I was in my first Rhythm competition.  I felt the judges, judging me in my new and unfamiliar milieu.  I didn’t know what came next – I had to follow Ilya’s lead.  Everyone was so close and I missed the distance between the ‘audience’ and me.

And I signed up for this!  Well, it is said “do what scares you”.  I did.  

My wonderful meditation teacher, Susan Morton recently talked about it, quoting  Tara Brach as she addresses the physical aspects of fear and how to respond:

“If you can feel that tightness at the diaphragm—with full awareness, without trying to change it or put an end to it—it isn’t as disabling. If you can feel the tightness at the sphincter, it won’t move up into the torso. And if you can feel the sensation of fear before there is any tightening at all, you will see that it exists as a ball of energy in the pit of the stomach. It might be uncomfortable, but if you can stay with it, you will see it for what it is: just energy. The moment you become aware of it, it is your energy. You can use it”.

Learning how to recognize how the mind affects the body was an essential tenet of  FM Alexander’s discovery.  When I reminded myself that recognizing the moment for what it was and applying tools to calm the physical manifestations of fear, I was able to move towards enjoyment.  I’m still dancing after 12 years.  I still get nervous but when I use the tools I already have I can work with it and the fear does not overtake me.

If you don’t have a bit of nerves before performance, that’s great!  But maybe you have other fears that you would like to explore.  Fear is fear and it is physical.  I can help you with that.

You may have read studies that say dancing is good for your brain.  You may be someone who always loved dancing and were pleased to hear this.  Another checkmark in the plus column.

Alternatively, maybe you began dancing because you heard that it was good for your brain.  It became clear that the challenge of remembering a sequence of steps and styles was good brain work.  It is the not knowing and figuring it out part that forces us to create new neural pathways.  Dancing to music and keeping time adds another beneficial element.

When working on new choreography with my partner, I am often amazed at how slowly it all goes – at least the remembering part from day to day and week to week.  But at the same time, I am equally amazed at a point when the choreography becomes etched in my brain; the neural pathways seamlessly knitted together with a flow that says “I’ve got this”.  And, more importantly, “I’ve done this…….. instead of texting or watching cute animal videos on my newsfeed!”.

Here is how a 2008 article explains the brain benefits of dancing to music:

“Scientists gave little thought to the neurological effects of dance until relatively recently, when researchers began to investigate the complex mental coordination that dance requires. In a 2008 article in Scientific American magazine, a Columbia University neuroscientist posited that synchronizing music and movement—dance, essentially—constitutes a “pleasure double play.” Music stimulates the brain’s reward centers, while dance activates its sensory and motor circuits”.

I am proposing that there is the possibility of adding another dimension; directing your brain towards greater efficiency.   It’s not what you do but how you do it.

Here’s a simple example:  I’m having difficulty maintaining my ‘frame’ without tightening in my neck and shoulders.  Creating and maintaining the shape of the frame is one goal, but I don’t want to do it by tightening or bracing AND I want to enjoy taking that first heel lead in waltz by releasing into the movement instead of contracting into it.  If you have found yourself in this situation, what would happen if you are thinking the thing that your body truly needs to function well, instead of fighting with a habit that is not working for you?

We are continually sending motor signals from our brain to our muscles but much of it is old – and familiar – signals, i.e. HABITS.  While we’re at it, why not send some new improved signals.  When I think about the length of my spine and my head delicately balanced on top of it, movement is so much more joyful.  Starting out moving with lightness helps when the need for quick changes of direction and fast footwork are called for.

Happy Dancing!  If you know other dancers who may benefit from these tips, please forward.  If you would like to receive  my weekly blog in your Inbox and my “10 Steps to Competition Greatness”, click here.

Ballroom dancing is an athletic endeavor, like ballet and so many other dance forms.  Many of us are competing and looking to inch up a notch in our final standing.  While pros may have more of a stake in “winning”,  amateurs are just as interested in translating their efforts, dollars, and time spent into recognizable rewards.

So often the prospect of that reward can sabotage our best intentions and become “trying too hard”.

While searching for images that represent this, I found a common denominator.  Virtually each and every physical “trying too hard/straining” showed a person tightening their neck.

Guess what?  You DO NOT have to do this no matter how difficult your choreography is.  Other fallout from neck tightening is stopping breathing. Do this: tighten your neck (your head tips back and spine compresses), and  take a breath – now let your neck go and take another breath.  Which breath is easier, freer, more comfortable, fuller? Now, wherever you are picture your neck free – it’s ok if there is no dramatic change.  By thinking that, did you let go enough to stop the tightening?

So here’s the thing, by stopping the (habitual) tightening you have already invited length into your WHOLE SPINE. If we become accustomed to thinking in this new way, dancing becomes, as above easier, freer, more comfortable, fuller.

Becoming aware of this habit may be difficult because  it may be so familiar that it is not recognizable.   Does familiar sound good?  It does to me – familiar good tasting food, familiar TV shows, familiar routes, and our familiar awesome teacher!  But some of these familiars taken to extreme may cause problems.  Too much sugar causes tooth decay, weight gain and often pre diabetes. watching TV too much causes lethargy, traveling the same route is boring.  (Our awesome teachers cannot be touched!).  Familiar spinal compression, not so good.

When I was training to become an Alexander Technique teacher, I had years of professional experience as a ballet dancer and teacher.  But whatever had become familiar to me was also the cause of pain in my neck, back and shoulders.  I talk more about it here.  What I learned in my training  was that the habit of tightening, compression, and tension got me by pretty well, but my body was no longer able to withstand it for the long run.  Since then, 15 years have passed and I have been able to pass on my own (and Alexander’s) discovery to my students. Their benefits are more ease, more awareness of the condition of their body in the moment, more fluidity and efficiency, and a brighter mood.

I can help you with the habits both on and off the ballroom that are no longer working for you.  If you would like to receive my weekly blog via  email including tips for better ballroom you may leave your information below.  Happy Dancing!